7F

Proposal

Here goes. Look, we both know you’re hotter than I am. You’re pretty sure I’m out to knead your breasts and kiss you up, and I’ll tell you now that you’re absolutely right. Absolutely. See, I know you spend two hours every day with makeup and everything and my saying these things, that’s a compliment, that’s saying hey, it paid off, let’s lick each other a bit.

We also both know I’m smarter than you. I’m not saying you’re dim, okay. You think I would say that? What I’m saying is, I’m damn bright. You know it. It’s not offensive. You’re damn hot. What it means is, I’ll write you artsy things all day long, you won’t get any of it, you’ll think I’m full of shit, but that’s okay because you, you know I’ll be rich and I’ll buy you things. And those other girls I see, those artsy girls, don’t worry about them, they’ve got overbites every one.

And I’ll think you’re cheating on me, and you will be, but I’m too dull to find out for sure. You know you’re safe. See, it’ll all work out.

Me, I’m good. You know I’m good. I’ve read the what’s-it, the Sutra, and I’ll look at porno a bit and get an idea for how it’s done. Hey, I’ll look at porno stars that look like you, only you, just to seal the deal. I’ve got a few stars lined up as-is.

But hey, we’re young, we’ve got time. Think about it. Check out the other options. My offer still stands. When you’re ready, you know where to sign.